Friday, October 7, 2011

How do you coach yourself or your partner?

Hmmm:  the motivation of ourselves.  How do we keep that spark alive inside and how do we help those around us?   That’s a tough question—but we seem to be able to “help” our partner better than ourselves at times.  Isn’t it interesting how so often we can find the flaws in others?  They aren’t to our standard.  Now, if we only held ourselves to that standard.  How many times have we been late with a delivery of a service or a product or even an appointment yet we will make sure another person with tardiness is aware that we know he/she is late.  Why is that?  Does recognizing the obvious make us feel better?  Is it really that important to step on those we are around the most?

Let’s focus on you first.  You get up and you have this feeling—it is going to be a rotten day.  The humidity is bad so your hair has a mind of its own.  There is little gas in the car and you have little cash and now you realize that you put that new magnetic name tag right next to your credit cards.  Quite a start to a day.  My Granny said: “Sit down.  Have a cup of coffee and start the day over.”  That Kentucky wisdom really is good.  The moment you have now is itself.  It can affect or not affect the next moment—and how it affects it is up to you.  For instance-do you decide to stop for the stoplight or just slow and go?  If it is the latter—how do you feel when you get that ticket?

The great author and inspirationalist Og Mandino claimed that “we make our own weather.”  What is yours?  Do you have that black cloud over your head?  Do your sharp words strike like lightning? Or do you shine? Do heads turn when you come into the room because the energy and “sunshine” is there—all around you?   So just like Tampa weather which can change between intersections and at a moment’s notice-change yours.  Have a ”that was then-this is now” talk with yourself.  THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO IS DECIDE.  Make the choice to change your weather.  If you are stuck in the mud, think of the sun and dry out.  You may want to take a walk, work out, call someone who loves to hear from you or have that cup of coffee; but decide.  You are the only one who can make you act like a victim.  Take the first step by deciding!

Now onto your partner-what do you do when their spark is out; when they are feeling down or just not motivated to get something done.  This is a fast paced world full of impersonal voicemail trees, animated characters on emails so we don’t even need to write to express ourselves and to do lists that go on and on.  We have lost some of the human touch in all of this and that may be true in this case.  This is a wonderful time to help your partner.  Schedule a planning session, review your business plan-remember the passion you had around starting it.  Remind your partner of the successes you have had together and what they bring.  Great partnerships complement and compliment each other. The two of you are greater than two—you create more being together than apart.  In business, we can be sorting out the tasks, the meetings, the duties and the appointments of the day.  It can be lonely.  If your partner is in the office all day, because you are so good with people and networking-remind him/her that you can drum up that business because he/she is getting the back office of books, invoices,  packaging and web site all done.  Take a picnic lunch in and enjoy each other.  Isn’t that the reason for this work arrangement?

Being is business is great; having a partner is wonderful.  When you are in business with your partner in life-it is truly the opportunity to have it all.  You can have the best of both worlds by bringing the best of you and bring out the best in your partners.

Good luck and let me know if I can help spark your pilot light again!